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I Volunteer for the Snacks by Anonymous Artist | Neume
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I Volunteer for the Snacks
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a funny "parody" rap about the hunger games
Lyrics
Yo, yo, uh, yeah — ha! (skrrt)
Welcome to the Hunger Games: the snack edition, ayy
I volunteer... for the chips — oh-oh
I woke up in District Twelve with crumbs on my face
Mama said "find a job," I said "nah, find a taste"
They drew my name, now I'm famous on a cereal box
Got sponsors sendin' pizza, and a drone that cooks the stocks
Effie with the glitter, she clap-clap with a sash
She said "Smile for the camera, you're viral in a flash" (yuh)
Training montage: I aim, I miss, I aim again
Practice on apples in the orchard, call it archery zen
My stylist's a pastry chef, hair made of cotton candy
Capitol's on livestream, their confetti's kinda randy
They teachin' survival: find water, make a fire
I found a hot dog vendor and signed up to retire
Mentor said "stay low," I said "nah, I like the limelight"
I'm dodgin' rules and marshmallows in the arena at midnight
The rulebook's thick, but I skimmed to the snack clause
It says "anything goes if you're bringin' your own sauce" (ayy)
I sneak to the cornucopia for the cheddar mountain
Guard dog steals my sandwich — we form a truce, we countin'
I volunteer (for the snacks), I volunteer (for the snacks), I volunteer (for the snacks), I volunteer (for the snacks)
I volunteer (for the snacks), I volunteer (for the snacks), I volunteer (for the snacks), I volunteer (for the snacks)
Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh (let's go)
Got a Mockingjay ringtone, it's autotuned and bright
My anthem's a ringtone sold in three colors: day, noon, night
They pitched me a contract: "Be adorable, wear sequins"
I said "I'll barter bread crumbs for a coach who actually wins"
My rival's a baker with a rolling pin of doom
She throws cupcakes like confetti, call it pastry bloom
We form an alliance: me, her, and a goat named Pete
We trade fashion tips and secret maple-syrup tweets
The cameras love drama, but we love the buffet
We stage a food fight, then we all share the lasagne, hey
Sponsors throw parachutes with scented candles and socks
I catch a hamper full of gummy bears, my hunger stops (uh-huh)
President on the balcony dancin' with a disco cane
He tosses down a coupon for a lifetime of free grain
But I'm here for the taste, not for the status or the fame
If I win the arena, I'm openin' a midnight snack chain
My victory speech: "I'd like to thank the fries, the dips, the crew"
And the Capitol's like "Wow, that merch will sell through!"
I volunteer (for the snacks), I volunteer (for the snacks), I volunteer (for the snacks), I volunteer (for the snacks)
I volunteer (for the snacks), I volunteer (for the snacks), I volunteer (for the snacks), I volunteer (for the snacks)
Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh (skrrt)
We rode the train of glitter, rolled through chaos with a cake (cake)
We traded arrows for a spatula and called it a day (ha!)
Mockingjay sings backup on my late-night co
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