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AP US History (Oh No) by Jack Parrott | Neume
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AP US History (Oh No)
Jack Parrott
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AP US History (Oh No)
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“
”
Ska song about the horrors of AP US history.
Lyrics
ska-la! hey-ya, skank it up, skank it up (ska-la)
Do-do-doo, doot-doo, doot-doot (ah!)
Yellow highlighter glow on the kitchen floor
Flashcards like a fortress by the bedroom door
Dates like drumbeats, blare at 2 a.m., oh man
Washington, Hamilton, then the tariff plan
Teacher says "analyze," my brain goes on strike
DBQ demon grins with a seven-point spike
Multiple choice witch hunt in a bubbling brew
I circle C but the curve says I should've knew
Ska horns cry out like a ticker-tape parade
While I'm chained to a timeline that my spine betrayed
Oh, the syllabus laughs, flips another page
I'm marching through chapters like a caffeine-caged stage
All the names on the wall, (watching) all the maps on the floor
Every treaty a riddle, every era a chore
I can hum the preamble but not the rubrics' law
Skank to the left, skank to the right, keep up, keep up, keep up, ah
AP US history, AP US history, AP US history, oh no
AP US history, AP US history, AP US history, oh no
Write your thesis tight, write your thesis tight, (write it!)
AP US history, AP US history, AP US history, oh no
Nightmare: linen robes, the Founders on parade
They quiz me in Latin and demand my essay grade
Reconstruction's a puzzle with missing screw and nail
My pencil's a shovel digging through a dusty trail
Civil War trumpet wakes up my algebra test
I trade my calculator for a clause express
Supreme Court shadows with a gavels' clap (clap)
I study precedent until my brain goes snap (snap)
Group projects ghosted me, I'm solo in the fray
We ska-skip footnotes while the clock ticks away
And that AP exam day feels like judgment day
But we hustle our answers in a brass-band sway
Stack the rubric high, (stack it) lay the paragraphs low
Synthesize the sources, let your thesis glow
Keep your intro tight, keep your intro right, (alright)
Skank to the left, skank to the right, keep up, keep up, keep up, oh
AP US history, AP US history, AP US history, oh no
AP US history, AP US history, AP US history, oh no
DBQ-DBQ (da-da), LEQ-LEQ (ta-ta), answer like you know
AP US history, AP US history, AP US history, oh no
Trumpets like alarm clocks, trombone like regret
We dance with the timelines we can never forget
Flip through the flashcards, skank through the pain
Every rubric a riddle, every essay a train
Oh, when the bell rings, we pretend we're free
But we hum the compromises like a memory sneeze (ah-choo)
Ska horns salute while the syllabus plots
We march, we laugh, we cry, we pass the lots
AP US history, AP US history, AP US history, oh no
AP US history, AP US history, AP US history, oh no
Write your thesis tight, write your thesis tight, (write it!)
AP US history, AP US history, AP US history, oh no
AP US history, AP US history, AP US history, oh no(ska-la, ska-la) doot-doo, doot-doot — fa
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