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I Lost You in the Small Things by elijah sanabria | Neume
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I Lost You in the Small Things
elijah sanabria
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“
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sad rap about heartbreak
Lyrics
yeah, ayy, yuh
empty cup on the counter, cigarette ash in a line
I keep replaying how you laughed like it was mine
cold coffee on the stove, your name saved in my phone
I scroll through the silence, it rings but I'm alone
I write your name in margins, tear it out of my book (out)
paper cuts on my fingers from the way I look (look)
at midnight I'm rehearsing the apology I won't send
practicing the quiet that comes after the end (after the end)
I clock the spaces where your shadow used to fit
leftover perfume in pockets, a little of you in it
my hoodie still smells like you, like a promise I kept
I sleep on the wrong side of truth, count the things I let (let)
we were cheap wine and late flights, arguments like looms
we stitched up the seams but unraveled in the room
I miss the way you said my name like it solved the math
now all that's left is calculus and aftermath (ayy)
I put your records on to drown the sound of the floor
but every chorus pulls me closer to the door
I walk past the light you left in the hall (yeah)
and swear to God I hear you say my name when the lights fall
I keep receipts for memories I can't return
learned how to burn bridges slow, watch the embers burn (yuh)
I told myself time would stitch the edges of this pain
but time's a frayed ribbon, and I'm tying it in vain
(oh-oh) every text read two times, every message unread
your last "goodbye" is a line I memorize in my head
I lost you in the small things, the quiet and the fight (I lost you)
left our pictures on the table, everything's half-lit tonight (half-lit)
I keep calling out your name into empty rooms (into rooms)
and the echo comes back softer, like footprints in the gloom
I lost you in the small things, the silence and the rain (I lost you)
I still set two plates sometimes, pretend it's not in vain (not in vain)
I keep calling out your name into empty rooms (into rooms)
and the echo comes back softer, and I wait for you to move
I replay the cheap fights like they're milestones I climbed
counting commas in our sentences, looking for a sign
you said forever in a doorway, palms pressed to my chest
I believed the blueprint, forgot we were paper-thin at best
my phone blinks a memory, a photo from August, warm light
you wearing that denim jacket, the night we argued 'til daylight
I said things that were sharp, sharpened on my tongue
now I'm cutting my own name out of songs we've sung (skrrt)
I find your laugh in grocery aisles, in stupid little things
in the way the milk expires, in the way the kettle sings
I keep the calendar marked, even though the days move on
like I'm bargaining with time for a moment that's gone
I text you poems that gather dust in drafts
I dial your number, hang up, then call myself back
there's a voicemail where you say "don't hold on, it's fine"
but I play it in the dark like it's a lifeline (a
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