Hop Shoots on Trial

Intro

Yo, check the grocery receipt, man.

You gotta be kidding me.

A thousand dollars for a bag of weeds?

Yeah, it's time to expose the most overrated crop in the soil.

Let's go.

Verse

Look at you hiding out in the woodland edges, trying to look rare

Charging one thousand dollars a kilo like you're elite or something square

But you're just glorified asparagus with a massive ego trip

A tiny little green sprout draining bank accounts on every single trip

People out here doing back-breaking labor just to pick you from a ditch

And when you finally hit the frying pan, your taste profile is switch

Raw, you taste bitter and astringent, completely unpalatable to the tongue

Chorus

Hop shoots, you're a joke, you're a wallet-killing fraud

Acting like you're culinary royalty, demanding that we applaud

You cost a whole luxury vacation but you're just a tiny weed

I'd rather eat a bag of basic spinach, that's the real food I need

Verse

Takes three whole years just to mature and grow up into a stem

All that waiting for a vegetable that doesn't even have a gem

If you aren't turning into beer, nobody cares about your name

You're just the leftover scraps playing an expensive hype game

Sautéed in luxury butter just to mask how you actually taste

Paying rent-money prices for a leaf is an absolute waste

Caviar has flavor, truffles have a distinct, rich profile scent

But you're just a crunchy sprig that makes a massive financial dent

Outro

Yeah, keep sitting on your high horse in Belgium and France

You aren't a delicacy, you're just a high-maintenance plant

Next time I want greens, I'm heading straight for the dollar aisle

Hop shoots, your financial reign is officially on trial.

Peace.