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Vulvadinia Blues by ph34rgeneral | Neume
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Vulvadinia Blues
ph34rgeneral
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Vulvadinia Blues
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Alright, here’s a tongue in cheek country tune. Light, respectful, and knowingly ridiculous. --- “Vulvadinia Blues” Verse 1 Well I woke up this mornin’ with a yelp and a sigh Coffee in my hand, pain sayin’ “hi” Doctor said slow down, Google said pray My jeans and I been fightin’ since yesterday Verse 2 It ain’t heartbreak, it ain’t the flu Ain’t somethin’ whiskey can fix straight through It don’t show up on a cast or a screen But buddy let me tell you it’s mean Chorus I got them Vulvadinia blues, yeah they burn and they sting Can’t ride a horse, can’t do a damn thing Try to sit down and I jump like a fool These Vulvadinia blues ain’t playin’ by the rules Verse 3 Tried yoga, candles, deep breaths and tea Talked to my nerves like “please be kind to me” Pharmacist smiled like she’d heard it before Said welcome to the club, here’s aisle four Verse 4 Country radio don’t cover this pain They sing ‘bout trucks, rain, and midnight trains But somewhere out there between courage and grit Is a honky tonk hero dealin’ with this Chorus I got them Vulvadinia blues, yeah they flare up at night Tight jeans feel like they’re startin’ a fight I’d trade all my boots for a bar stool that’s cool These Vulvadinia blues got a wicked sense of humour Bridge It’s not shame, it’s not a joke Just nerves gone rogue and misfiring smoke So laugh if you want, but here’s the truth Pain don’t care if you’re tough or smooth Final Chorus Still got them Vulvadinia blues, but I’m standin’ my ground Gonna live my life, turn the volume down Might not two step, might sway real slow But I’ll sing it loud so the world all knows Outro So raise a glass to the unseen fight To stubborn pain and stubborn might From back porch songs to medical lore Here’s to Vulvadinia, we’re still wantin’ more peace than war --- If you want it dirtier, sillier, or more Nashville polished, say the word and I’ll tune it.
Lyrics
Well I woke up this mornin’ with a yelp and a sigh
Coffee in my hand, pain sayin’ “hi”
Doctor said slow down, Google said pray
My jeans and I been fightin’ since yesterday
It ain’t heartbreak, it ain’t the flu
Ain’t somethin’ whiskey can fix straight through
It don’t show up on a cast or a screen
But buddy let me tell you it’s mean
I got them Vulvadinia blues, yeah they burn and they sting
Can’t ride a horse, can’t do a damn thing
Try to sit down and I jump like a fool
These Vulvadinia blues ain’t playin’ by the rules
Tried yoga, candles, deep breaths and tea
Talked to my nerves like “please be kind to me”
Pharmacist smiled like she’d heard it before
Said welcome to the club, here’s aisle four
Country radio don’t cover this pain
They sing ‘bout trucks, rain, and midnight trains
But somewhere out there between courage and grit
Is a honky tonk hero dealin’ with this
I got them Vulvadinia blues, yeah they flare up at night
Tight jeans feel like they’re startin’ a fight
I’d trade all my boots for a bar stool that’s cool
These Vulvadinia blues got a wicked sense of humour
It’s not shame, it’s not a joke
Just nerves gone rogue and misfiring smoke
So laugh if you want, but here’s the truth
Pain don’t care if you’re tough or smooth
Still got them Vulvadinia blues, but I’m standin’ my ground
Gonna live my life, turn the volume down
Might not two step, might sway real slow
But I’ll sing it loud so the world all knowsSo raise a glass to the unseen fight
To stubborn pain and stubborn might
From back porch songs to medical lore
Here’s to Vulvadinia, we’re still wantin’ more peace than war
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