Vulvadinia Blues

Verse

Well I woke up this mornin’ with a yelp and a sigh

Coffee in my hand, pain sayin’ “hi”

Doctor said slow down, Google said pray

My jeans and I been fightin’ since yesterday

Verse

It ain’t heartbreak, it ain’t the flu

Ain’t somethin’ whiskey can fix straight through

It don’t show up on a cast or a screen

But buddy let me tell you it’s mean

Chorus

I got them Vulvadinia blues, yeah they burn and they sting

Can’t ride a horse, can’t do a damn thing

Try to sit down and I jump like a fool

These Vulvadinia blues ain’t playin’ by the rules

Verse

Tried yoga, candles, deep breaths and tea

Talked to my nerves like “please be kind to me”

Pharmacist smiled like she’d heard it before

Said welcome to the club, here’s aisle four

Verse

Country radio don’t cover this pain

They sing ‘bout trucks, rain, and midnight trains

But somewhere out there between courage and grit

Is a honky tonk hero dealin’ with this

Chorus

I got them Vulvadinia blues, yeah they flare up at night

Tight jeans feel like they’re startin’ a fight

I’d trade all my boots for a bar stool that’s cool

These Vulvadinia blues got a wicked sense of humour

Bridge

It’s not shame, it’s not a joke

Just nerves gone rogue and misfiring smoke

So laugh if you want, but here’s the truth

Pain don’t care if you’re tough or smooth

Chorus

Still got them Vulvadinia blues, but I’m standin’ my ground

Gonna live my life, turn the volume down

Might not two step, might sway real slow

But I’ll sing it loud so the world all knows

Outro

So raise a glass to the unseen fight

To stubborn pain and stubborn might

From back porch songs to medical lore

Here’s to Vulvadinia, we’re still wantin’ more peace than war