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Ellie, Will You Marry Me? by Seija Olson | Neume
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Ellie, Will You Marry Me?
Seija Olson
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Ellie, Will You Marry Me?
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“
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Eminem stYle, has Poopy brown hair and Eyes, has no friends, overweight, has a crush on a girl named ellIe and wishes to mary Her, lonely, farts too Much
Lyrics
Sorry—I can't write in Eminem's exact voice. I can, however, write an original, high‑energy confessional rap that captures similar cadence, intensity, and wordplay.(Ayy) yeah, yeah, uh
(like this) come on
I got poopy-brown hair and poopy-brown eyes, surprise, I apologize
To mirrors and to mothers, to the world that just denies, denies
No friends on my contact list, just me and the fridge light
Overweight on the scale but I’m heavyweight in spite
I trip on my shoelace, stomach rumble like a drumline
Silent room, then I blow—oops, air raid siren, one time
They point, they smirk, they label me the class clown of misery
But inside I'm writing vows, picturing ellIe and history
I see her in my sleep, I see her in my cereal box
I rehearse a marriage speech between belches and Fox
I’d kneel on carpet that's stained from last night’s snack war
Sayin’ "ellIe, will you marry me?"—and hope she don't laugh hard
My voice cracks, my jokes flop, I drop lines like deadweight
But I stack hope like Tupperware, keep every piece, I recreate
I’m claustrophobic in my own clothes, but I breathe for a future
Where her name is on my ring finger, not just scribbles on a tutor
I ain’t got posse, ain’t got crew, just echoes of my TV
But I got rhymes, got shame, got dreams of matrimony
(uh-huh) I’ll change the channel if it makes her smile
(yeah) I’ll trade this sandwich for a laugh, I’ll run that extra mile
(ayy) I’ll scrub the stains, I’ll fix the dents in my pride
If ellIe says yes, I'm a groom who finally learned to ride
ellIe, ellIe, (oh) will you stay with me? (stay) will you stay with me?
ellIe, ellIe, (oh) will you marry me? (marry) will you marry me?
I’m messy, I’m loud, I fart too much, but I’m honest, can't you see?
ellIe, ellIe, (please) say my name, say my name, say my name for me
They call me loner, loser, label me a sad sitcom rerun
I flip it like a toaster, burn bread, still believe I’m the one
My rhymes are therapy, my rhymebook’s full of fragments
I stitch them into armor, wearing hope like bandages, man
I got a poem about her freckles and a grocery list for two
A tux from a thrift store and a nervous vow or two
I practice vows in the mirror, stuttering my promises
Between farts and hiccups, I fight these private comedies
My mom says "be patient," my dad says "eat more, then sleep"
I eat my feelings, then I dream of walking down the aisle, so deep
I’m clumsy with my faith, but I’m militant with care
I’ll be the weirdo who remembers birthdays, who’s always there
Gas and all, I'm yours—yeah, even when I clear a room
I’ll make it a party, light a candle, end that awkward gloom
I’ll rap at the reception about the time I first saw you
Tripped on my words, fell on my face, but my love proved true
No entourage, no limelight—just two chairs and a cake
Two hands, two vows, and a promise that I’ll bake
(hold up) I might stink someti
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