Merry Merry

Intro

Fireplace flare, tinsel on the floor (oh)

I put on the sweater I never wore (mm)

Say hello like it's nothing, like it's fine (yeah)

Smile tight, tighten up the line (uh-huh)

Verse

I’m the one who held the light while they were gone

Carved the names into the cookies, did the dishes until dawn

They ask how I’m doing like it’s honest small talk

Like the cracks in the ceiling won’t show when I walk

I kept their secrets in the pocket of my coat

Paid off their favors with the credit of my throat

Oldest daughter, oldest duty, oldest lie

I learned to swallow winters just to make them warm inside

Pre-chorus

And the ornaments feel heavy when I hold them up (hold them up)

I’m smiling like I’m saving something worth keeping up (keeping up)

But the room gets loud and my hands go cold (go cold)

I pretend the past is present and I fit the mold (I fit the mold)

Chorus

Merry, merry, say it like a prayer, like a crime (merry, merry)

Merry while I’m breaking on the inside (merry, merry)

Layered in tinsel, wearing all the guilt tonight (tonight)

Merry, merry, sing it soft, don’t make a sound (yeah)

Merry, merry, fix the picture, hang it proud (oh)

Merry while I’m fading in the crowded light (fade away)

Merry, merry, merry, merry, merry (mm-mm)

Verse

They fight about the seating like it’s 1999

I move the chairs to hide the stains of my mind

He says he’s sorry with a laugh and then forgets

She tells me I’m dramatic and the guilt’s on my checklist

I hold the shrink’s number in the notes app on my phone

But who do I call when I’m the one who built this home?

Oldest daughter, keeper of the fuse and keys

I carry all their storms and tuck away my pleas

Pre-chorus

And the candles burn down slower when I’m near (slow down)

All the cookies crumble past the taste of fear (taste of fear)

I breathe too loud in a room that hates the truth (shh)

I fix their laughter with a smile that’s overdue (overdue)

Chorus

Merry, merry, say it like a prayer, like a crime (merry, merry)

Merry while I’m breaking on the inside (merry, merry)

Layered in tinsel, wearing all the guilt tonight (tonight)

Merry, merry, sing it soft, don’t make a sound (don’t make a sound)

Merry, merry, fix the picture, hang it proud (hang it proud)

Merry while I’m fading in the crowded light (yeah)

Merry, merry, merry, merry, merry (oh-oh)

Bridge

I wish for a quiet door, wish for one clean line (one clean line)

Wish for someone to call me simple and still call it mine (mine)

I say I’m fine, I say it like a hymn (say it)

But tonight I’m a matchbox with a fever, burning thin (mm)

(oh) Don’t clap for me, don’t pass the plate, I’m tired of being brave

(yeah) Let the room spin a little while I save myself from saving y'all

Chorus

Merry, merry, say it like a prayer, like a crime (merry, merry)

Merry while I’m breaking on the inside (merry, merry)

Layered in tinsel, wearing all the guilt