Kiss My Dog's Ass

Intro

Yo—yo—

Ayo yinz, turn it up, this the birthday blast,

Karen hittin’ 60, Terry 50—movin’ fast.

Carnegie queens with that Pittsburgh class,

If they don’t like this song… they can kiss my dog’s ass.

Verse

Now Karen my sister — yeah, lil’ sis, that’s true,

But she been causin’ trouble since she wore one shoe.

Bellevue restaurant — oh man, what a sight,

Bill hit the table, Karen said “A’ight, goodnight!”

Ran out the back door like a jailbreak dash,

Left me and our brothers sittin’ there with no cash.

And sixty years later she still moves fast,

Still calls me—

Yeah, you know what—

Just an ass.

Verse

Karen and Terry — neighbors back in the day,

Kids runnin’ side-by-side, old-school play.

Sarah and Erica with Terry’s crew mixin’,

Whole Carnegie knew them — it wasn’t no fiction.

Best friends every season, every laugh, every tear,

A friendship that lasted year after year.

Verse

And Terry hittin’ 50 — girl, you doin’ it right,

Your shop full of gifts stay shinin’ bright.

You’ve come a long way, made people proud,

Standin’ tall, strong, humble — never too loud.

Verse

And Karen? She still runnin’ that appliance scene,

Sold the place off — but she still runs it clean.

Hard worker, big heart, Pittsburgh tough,

Sixty years in — and she STILL ain't had enough.

Chorus

Fifty and sixty — party don’t stop,

Carnegie queens sittin’ right at the top.

Laughin’ at the years like “Yinz too slow,”

Pittsburgh girls with that black and gold glow.

Verse

Well Karen turned sixty and Terry hit fifty,

And somehow these girls still lookin’ damn nifty.

From Carnegie streets to the hills where we roam,

Ain’t nothin’ like two birthday queens holdin’ their own.

Karen’s my sister and I love her to death,

Even when she’s callin’ me an ass under her breath.

But that’s family, that’s love, that’s our little spin—

Ain’t no place like Pittsburgh to let life begin.

Outro

So raise your glasses high, let that moonshine pass,

If they don’t like my singin’?

Well they can kiss my dog’s ass!

final line

Happy 50, Terry!

Happy 60, Karen!

Love yinz both —

From your big brother…

Your favorite ASS.