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Happy Birthday Juju by Sydney Thomas | Neume
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Happy Birthday Juju
Sydney Thomas
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“
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write a birthday song for a girl named juju who is turning 17. make 67 jokes in it.
Lyrics
(Yo, Juju!) Happy birthday, girl, 17's the scene
We got jokes stacked high, yeah, 67 on the beam
But let's rap 'em quick, keep it lit, no time to dream!
Happy birthday Juju, turning 17, oh yeah (oh yeah!)
Sweet like candy, wild like fire, hip hip hooray (hooray!)
You're the queen today, cake and confetti spray (spray spray)
17 jokes incoming, laugh all day, all day! (ayy!)
Juju turning 17, driver's license in hand,
But gas prices so high, you'll walk across the land!
Sweet 16 was fun, now you're prime time teen,
17's a prime number, one-of-a-kind queen!
Can watch R-rated flicks, no parents' side-eye glare,
But curfew still hits at 10, life's so unfair!
Instagram stories poppin', likes rain like confetti,
Boys in DMs swipin', but you ghost 'em already!
TikTok dances slaying, moves smoother than butter,
Followers hit a mil? Nah, your mom's your top follower!
High school drama queen, lockers full of shade,
Teachers say "grow up," but you're already made!
First job at the mall, flipping burgers for fun,
Boss says "smile more," you say "pay me, hun!"
Crush from math class? He finally texts "hey,"
You reply with emojis, make him beg all day!
Prom dress dilemma, sparkles or straight jeans?
Either way, Juju, you'll steal all the scenes!
Can't buy lotto yet, but dreams big as the sky,
Winning Powerball? Nah, your vibe's the real prize!
17 candles blow, wish for world domination,
But first, more sleep – teen life's a station!
Juju like the candy, sweet and full of chew,
One bite and hooked, yeah, that's you!
Voodoo doll Juju? Nah, you cast spells with a wink,
Hearts drop like flies, make 'em all rethink!
Legal to date anyone? Wait, still need mom's okay,
"Bring him home," she says, "or no birthday play!"
College apps looming, essays full of sass,
"Future CEO," you write, "kiss my glass!"
Phone bill sky-high from late-night scrolls,
Dad yells "data cap!" but you own your goals!
Turning 17, wisdom teeth incoming soon,
Braces off last year? Now you're a full cartoon!
Besties plan pranks, TP the neighbor's tree,
Cops show up laughing, "Happy birthday to thee!"
Juju's party playlist, bangers on repeat,
Neighbors bang walls, but we crank the beat!
Can't vote yet, but your opinions slay,
Politicians wish they had your clapback way!
Skinny jeans out, baggy pants in vogue,
You rock 'em both, style overload!
First car? A hand-me-down with no AC,
Windows down blasting, that's VIP!
Homework hacks mastered, copy-paste pro,
Teacher says "original," you say "au contraire, bro!"
17 means road trips with the squad so tight,
Stuck in traffic jamming, what a delight!
Boy band posters peeled, now it's real band tees,
From boy crazy to boss babe, easy!
Can't pierce your tongue, mom's rule number one,
But tattoos? "At 18," she says,
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