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Choosing Myself by Izzy Manikowski | Neume
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Choosing Myself
Izzy Manikowski
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Choosing Myself
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I’m choosing myself, though it tears me apart, I’m choosing my peace, I’m protecting my heart. For years I kept waiting, believing in signs, Convincing myself that someday you’d be mine. You’d give me the signs, then act completely changed, One moment so close, the next distant and strange. You’d pull me in softly, then push me away, Leaving me wondering what you would say. I searched every glance, every word, every smile, And waited for you, mile after mile. I held onto moments you probably forgot, Made something from nothing and gave it my all. You played with my heart, though you may not have known, You made me feel wanted, then left me alone. You gave me a reason to hope and believe, Then took it away whenever you’d leave. So I’m not waiting around for your heart anymore, I’m closing the chapter, I’m locking the door. No more wondering if you’ll finally see, No more asking what we were meant to be. I’m choosing myself for my heart and my mind, For all of the pieces I’m leaving behind. For every sleepless night, every tear that I cried, For the version of me that I buried inside. Though it hurts, and the years of waiting still call, A part of me whispers, “Don’t leave after all.” It tells me to stay, to give you one more chance, To hold onto hope, to wait for romance. But hope can be heavy when carried too long, And sometimes what’s right still feels terribly wrong. Sometimes saying goodbye is the hardest thing, Even when staying would hurt everything. I’ll miss all the moments that never came true, The future I dreamed I could someday have with you. I’ll mourn every “maybe,” each “what if,” each “when,” And wish for the chance to begin again. But I won’t keep chasing a love that won’t stay, Or begging for answers you won’t ever say. I deserve something steady, something sincere, Not something that leaves me drowning in fear. So I’ll gather my heart from the pieces you broke, And breathe through the memories, the silence, the smoke. I’ll carry the lessons, but leave you behind, And slowly reclaim every piece of my mind. Maybe one day I’ll remember your name Without feeling the ache, without feeling the same. Maybe your ghost won’t still haunt every place, And I’ll think of the past without searching your face. Until then, I’ll keep walking, though lonely and slow, Because choosing myself is the way I must go. I’m done being someone who waits by the door, Hoping that someday you’ll give me much more. I loved you enough to keep waiting in pain, But now I love me enough to break from the chain. And even if leaving leaves tears in my eyes, I’d rather choose peace than live on with the lies. So goodbye to the signs, and goodbye to the doubt, Goodbye to the love I kept figuring out. Goodbye to the years that I wanted to stay— I’m saying goodbye to keep ghosts at bay. I’m choosing myself, and I finally know why:Some endings are needed so new dreams can fly.And though my heart aches as I turn and depart,I’m choosing my future, my peace, and my heart.
Lyrics
[verse]
I’m choosing myself, though it tears me apart,
I’m choosing my peace, I’m protecting my heart.
For years I kept waiting, believing in signs,
Convincing myself that someday you’d be mine.
You’d give me the signs, then act completely changed,
One moment so close, the next distant and strange.
You’d pull me in softly, then push me away,
Leaving me wondering what you would say.
[verse]
I searched every glance, every word, every smile,
And waited for you, mile after mile.
I held onto moments you probably forgot,
Made something from nothing and gave it my all.
You played with my heart, though you may not have known,
You made me feel wanted, then left me alone.
[chorus]
So I’m not waiting around for your heart anymore,
I’m closing the chapter, I’m locking the door.
No more wondering if you’ll finally see,
No more asking what we were meant to be.
I’m choosing myself for my heart and my mind,
For all of the pieces I’m leaving behind.
[verse]
Though it hurts, and the years of waiting still call,
A part of me whispers, “Don’t leave after all.”
But hope can be heavy when carried too long,
And sometimes what’s right still feels terribly wrong.
I’ll miss all the moments that never came true,
The future I dreamed I could someday have with you.
[chorus]
I’m choosing myself, though it tears me apart,
I’m choosing my peace, I’m protecting my heart.
I loved you enough to keep waiting in pain,
But now I love me enough to break from the chain.
So goodbye to the signs, and goodbye to the doubt,
I’m choosing my future, my peace, and my heart.
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